Trader Faulkner After Loss

This thread traces Trader Faulkner's bereavement from disbelief and accusation to the painful recognition that loving Jennifer did not mean knowing everything about her.

increasingBearing stren­gth in each eventdecreasing

The Notification at CSU

The Notification at CSU A Sudden Refusal Oltan O'Boye tells Trader that Jennifer is dead. Trader, dressed for the night, calls the officer a liar and resists the news. First Contact With the Body At the morgue, Trader leans toward Jennifer but does not touch her. His grief begins in disbelief and cannot yet become comprehension.

A Suspect's Chair

A Suspect's Chair The Interrogation Mike questions Trader as though he killed Jennifer, using her naked body, sexual evidence, and the number of shots to construct a story. Trader answers but refuses to accept her false certainty. Shared Grief When Mike recognizes that he is innocent, the two cry together. The interrogation becomes an encounter between people wounded by the same death.

The Apartment Reoccupied

The Apartment Reoccupied Returning to the Rooms Trader has moved back into Jennifer's apartment, though he sleeps on the couch and watches television. The familiar space feels diminished without her. An Unequal Absence He tells Mike that being there is better than not being there, but the rooms remain saturated with what has disappeared. The apartment's domestic order now measures loss.

The Letter's Arrival

The Letter's Arrival A Delayed Farewell Trader reveals that Jennifer mailed him a letter before she died. It describes her private mental distress and asks for forgiveness. Survivor's Doubt The letter makes him question how little he noticed while living beside her. He wonders whether he could have recognized changes in her body or behavior.

The Night Call

The Night Call An Ordinary Mishap Trader tells Mike that he felt distressed on the night he left Jennifer, but attributes it to a snapped shoelace, a hangnail, and a torn pocket. He says he was suicidal in that brief, ridiculous moment. Grief's Unstable Meaning The story gives Mike no tidy precipitant, only the fragility of ordinary experience. Trader's laughter at an earlier joke turns into a painful recognition of what he failed to understand.

March 4, around 11:15 p.m.

March 13

Late March

Late March, during Mike's visit

April 2, around 2:30 a.m.